8 working days left.... how sweet that is!
Although I'm in a bit of a funk.... ergg.. it's so boring! I put it to the Italian that someone else has asked me out on a date and what does he think... He doesn't care - well there was a hint of ego related jealousy - but in essence it's been made pretty clear that this is only a friends with benefits scenario. I'm good with the casual thing. Perfectly fine - in fact suits me completely after just leaving a 4.5 yr relationship. BUT there is an element of self respect I have to afford myself and decide if just a physical liaison is all I want as well. Sure it has it's benefits! However I actually like having a connection with the person I allow in my bed/ shower/ kitchen :) Can it be both?? Am I being too Libran about this??
I'm only going to leave this post up for a small window of time as I'm not sure if he has figured out how to find this blog by google stalking...it's very possible. So to everyone INCLUDING LURKERS I need opinions and advice! Stat!
Should I just chill the F out and go with it - or move on?
Here is an abridged version of the msn chat that got me to this point:
N says:
can I ask you a question -- BUT you have to promise not to take it too seriously?
Italian says:
ok
N says:
ok - someone asked me yesterday if you and I 'were just shagging or what' ?
N says:
I was curious as to how you would answer that..
Italian says:
good friends (even though we've only known each other a short while) who shag.
N says:
so what would you think if someone asked me on a date?
Italian says:
1 wouldn't mind. i've been meaning to bring it up anyway, although this is a hard
way to conduct this 'conversation'. i love my freedom and i wouldn't expect to
hold anyone else - you - back...
N says:
well - for me -- I can't have anything more then what this is right now... and I'm
loving the idea of spending time on my own
Italian says:
you're a great girl and i love hanging out with you, but i don't want a
'relationship'. i love my freedom too much.
N says:
well - then same same!
Italian says:
phew! go crazy girl...although you can't nickname him 'stallion'!
N says:
no -- to be honest - that I can't do either....
Italian says:
who's the lucky guy?
N says:
while I'm not going into any relationships at the moment I'm not going to be
seeing a bunch of guys
Italian says:
you realise (insert best friend/ mutual married friend) will be heartbroken!
N says:
no - she won't :)
Italian says:
good
N says:
I think she wants to live vicariously through me
Italian says:
haha!
nathalia says:
what about you? is there any other filly the stallion is interested in seeing?
N says:
not really. i'm quite lazy in that area and am scared if i make a move on anyone,
they will see it as an indication of 'relationship'. and it's more fun when it
just 'happens'.
Italian says:
so, does this mean our shagging days are over?
Italian says:
cos the price of condoms is skyrocketing! :)
N says:
well I was hoping not - but if there is a fiscal issue regarding supplies...
Italian says:
only kidding...
Italian says:
and who says Google chat is a waste of time!
N says:
ok - so we're on a pretty similar page and all is easy going?
N says:
that's me summarising.. unless you have anything to add :)
Italian says:
no...all is cool...although if he is a better shag (YEAH, RIGHT!!!), i don't wanna
know...know his star sign?
N says:
for the record - I won't shag 2 people at the same time. I may go have a drink but
I'm actually pretty selective!!!
Italian says:
...such is the aura of 'the stallion'...
N says:
oh PLEASE!!!!
Italian says:
beggng already?
N says:
damn - can't get the right intonations in msn chatting!!
Italian says:
oh, sure...blame msn!
Italian says:
'the stallion' knows all...
Italian says:
But who is this cad stealing you away from me?
Oh and thanks to miss kitty for already listening to my whining on this subject!!
12 comments:
hmmmmm. i think you will be moving on inside a fortight.
if you haven't already.
that is what i think. xxx
Kitty.. hmmmmm - maybe!
xx
I dont like it. I wouldnt be sharing my 'space' with him. I cant handle friends with benefits, Im too (fucked in the head) passionate. I want love and connections. See what else is out there Miss.
xx
Sounds like you already know your answer. Serial monogamy is the go.
Doing two friends with benefits at the same time will just lead to catastrophe - unless they are in the same bed then it will just be great fun followed by catastrophe!
Nothing wrong with wanting a connection and moving on to find that.
Now I kid you not but Google is messing with us...word verification is "Kisess" for this comment.
As long as all parties are being honest, and know where the other stands, then have fun with him Miss N. You will know when it's time to move on.
--> your words "...chill out and go with it."
I think you are wise to want to be single for a spell. :)
Date. Date. Date.
Friday - that's my initial reaction...I don't want love right now - but connections are always lovely.
Josh - Google is a sly bugger!
Crazy Peanut - Wise words.. and I am LOVING being single. So will be embracing the mantra of 'chill out and go with it' --- the plus side being my sex life!
I like reading about your relationships! I think personally, even if it's just a friends with benefits scenario, I'd like to think that they are still interested in me as a person even if no relationship develops. I'm okay with FWBs but not if they have several!!
I am a Libran too. I have always admired people who can do the casual relationship thing. I think you are wise giving yourself some time out to see where you are.
Lien - that's exactly it! I can be ok with it if they are into me - but the minute I feel like it's just a 'she's easy/ just a shag' scenario I'm pretty much put off.. It's easy to be easy and just a shag to someone/ many someones! I'm fairly selective so I'd like to think the person I'm hanging with has standards that are beyond 'does she have a vagina?'...
Raspberry - Oh how much fun do you have with decisions?! cause I rock them... well not really :) but yeah = I completely envy anyone who is breezy and cool with the casual.. I always have to wonder if all parties are telling the truth about how 'cool' they are with it.
hmmm....I have been known to have dilemas about things like washing powder vs liquid that last a looong time. Re the casual I can't imagine me ever not needing a connection and a commitment (I have been married for 20 yrs), how do you manage your emotions with this kind of thing and not go all clingy and needy? That is what I admire, people who can be ok with that and not all needy like me. Maybe they have a lot more self confidence and don't need to look for approval from others.
OK now I am convinced we are living parallel lives! We had same conversation (although in person) right down to the fact that it was his shout next time (re supplies!!!)
I don't want more from my boy, or anyone else at the moment. But I'm not quite OK with the casual thing either. I thought I could be, but I think he is going to have to go soon. Just not yet!
Raspberry - I love the eye rolling from my acquaintances when they are standing in front of me watching the decision making process unroll.. I wouldn't want to be them however!
Em - yep - every word. I want casual but not ENTIRELY ok with F. Buddy status... Here's how I wanted the conversation to go: Me: 'So is this just casual' Him: 'yep - I love hanging out with you and don't want a relationship right now so let's just have fun and see what happens'.
Basically once something is reduced to 'just shagging' then it becomes less hot to me - it's almost too clinical.. but we'll see - I just want to have some fun!!!
Post a Comment