I know I've made the right decision at home but there are going to be so many moments of 'should I have done this?'... It's great that The Texan and I are still getting along and even having laughs at home.. but it makes me question myself.. do I just give relationships a short shelf life? It used to be that I would get to 2 yrs and bail.. this lasted 4.5.. I wanted to bail probably at .5 to be honest.. but thought deep down that I wasn't being an adult and dealing with being in a relationship properly.. in essence I talked myself into staying because it was easy and comfortable. Have I wasted years of my 30's?? am I an annoying sex in the city episode?? Facing being single at my age now (when I still feel 25 anyway!) is just sinking in... and while there isn't fear (yet) there is a lot of trepidation. I suck at dating! I either fall too hard and make a complete dick of myself or I'm just too standofish and never get anywhere. The jury is still out (and probably not returning) on the children issue.. so I'm not desperate to get things a happening in that field.. I can't even picture myself sharing a menu with someone right now.. I'm just looking forward to unloading all of my belongings into my new sanctuary and pouring myself a cup of tea. Then I wll panic.. or not.
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