The Friday Tagged Post

The lovely Skinny sent this my way - let's see where I go with it..

Think back on the last 15 years of your life. What would you tell someone that you hadn't seen or talked to for 15 years? How would you sum up your life? You get 10 bullet points. A list of 10 things to summarize about you. At the end of your list, tag 5 more people and send on the love.

• hmmm according to the calculator and the fact my parents INSIST they have never lied about my age - 15 years ago I was entering the 20's. Ok I was 21. Fuck me. I'd already been out of home for 3 years. Left the bogan suburb from hell the second highschool was over and moved close to uni. By 21 I was finishing one degree and deciding on what I really wanted to do. I decided not to be a Drama teacher and went on to then major in another specialty - film and tv.. Basically I just talked alot of shit in coffee shops and pubs about how brilliant all my creative friends were and what amazing films we would go on to make. I played pool a lot. I thought of myself as a budding writer. I pretentiously printed out future Production Company names on this new fandangled bubble jet printer thing attached to - and get this - an ELECTRONIC typewriter. Oh my technology!!
• When I eventually stopped bumming around campusfinished uni I'd already had my heart broken about a trillion fucking times. I'd been cheated on and was the cheater. I then fell for a strange hippy dude who sang Hunters and Collectors 'Throw Your Arms Around Me' - too many times! We lived in a variety of sharehouses as we saved for a move somewhere O/S - we took a while to work out where we were going. I was working the typical dead end jobs, Cook, Waitress, Dressing Room Bitch, Photographer, Bar Maid and almost one night as a stripper which didn't happen due to me sobering up just in time!
• One of my darling best friends from childhood and possibly the only school friend I was still talking to became a huge popstar. Which we pretentiously decided was going to happen sometime back in the early 80's while I was fully decked out in fluro and netting and he was convincing himself he wasn't gay - but loving Stevie Nicks and Cyndi Lauper.
• Eventually the hippy dude and I went backpacking - first to LA and New York - then onto Prague, Budapest, a lot of small towns in Italy and South of France, Barcelona, Paris and then with 50 pounds between us we moved to London for 30 seconds before we moved on to Edinburgh. We stayed for 2 plus years. I worked for the film festival and a well known eco make up brand. He worked in pubs and a department store. We traveled as much as possible. We were always poor. We had a ton of friends from Oz come and live with us in succession. I fell out of love with him day by day.
• Popstar summoned me to New York on my 26th birthday to surprise me with Prince at Madison Square (which I've babbled about before). That was just a weekend. When I got 'home' to Edinburgh my mind was made up to leave Hippy Dude - but not tell him. Instead I said I wanted to go back to New York for a while and then Canada to see friends and then eventually home to start working on my career. I didn't have a career plan I just knew I had to leave him and start thinking of one. I had an amazing time on my travels home as an unoffical single girl. An impromtu trip to New Orleans while I was staying with my Aunt in San Francisco was the highlight.
• 2 days after I arrived home in Oz I met The Man that would subsequently become the man of my dreams and almost my undoing. I also started working in my dream industry. The internet was invented.(!!!) I recconnected with old friends, I made new ones. I lived alone for the first time ever and loved it. I eventually got a driving license and the shittiest crappiest car of all time - that I loved. I discovered drugs. I discovered all the drinking I got used to in Scotland was now much more a part of my life. I was out almost every night. Hippy Dude eventually winged his way home and saw that I had become a different person. He then married the next girl he dated. The Man strung me along, he loved me and hated me, he cheated on me and got his ex girlfriend pregnant. I found this out on a remote beach, high as a kite during the millenium. I left him for a while but then caved in again. I continued to cave in for years. My friends got angrier and angrier at me. I tried other boyfriends - some great - some so horrendous I still cringe to this day. I always went back to The Man.
• I started to get better jobs in the industry - intersperced with shitty ones. After a particularly bad one and when my love life with The Man was hitting rock bottom for the 100th time, I moved to San Francisco to work with The Popstar. I took with me more baggage then I realised. I unpacked my coming down from too many years high baggage. I made my life hell with depression as I was (now in hindsight) obviously in withdrawal. The Popstar wasn't in such a great place either. Together in close quarters we were a terrible mess. I barely functioned during the day though didn't think anyone else noticed. Eventually it all blew up - prompted by an email from a best friend at home to the Popstar outlining all the reasons I apparently needed psychological help. I was still in denial and I had intercepted the email. It crushed me. Rock bottom barely describes where I went at that point. So I went to Mexico. The Popstar paid out my severance pay, an old school friend came to San Francisco - we visted my Aunt in the Redwoods and then drove to Vegas. Eventually we made it to LA where we hopped a plane to Mexico and I faced my demons when I wasn't looking in the bottom of a cocktail glass. I'd just lost 2 best friends and realised I was possibly an addict of sorts. I came back to Oz.
• Once home I got started on getting back into my career, life (without the addictions), friends and unfortunately The Man. Just imagine how thrilled my friends were!! Eventually I moved south for work and luckily got too busy to keep up the charade of our past relationship. By accident I found myself with a nice, fairly straight young man. It lasted as long as the film shoot I was on. My first and not last 'on location' love affair. It was all good fun. I had a brief affair with The Man again (at this stage he was basically engaged to someone else) and then promptly left to work in Sydney. Only to realise I was pregnant 6 weeks later. For many reasons it never went full term - it still breaks my heart. It was however the end of The Man. Thank fuck for that!!!!!!
• Sydney treated me well after that and I had a ball. Worked hard - played hard and made some of the most important friends of my life. Popstar was on tour - we reconnected - we forgave each other - we were both in a much better place then we ever had been. I moved back to Qld for another film finally quite happy with where things were headed. I met The Texan at a random party. We have a ridiculous amount of friends in common and have no idea why we've never met before.
• I'm fairly estranged from my family - see no mention of them above as proof I guess. Except my Aunt - but she's adopted. I admire and respect my friends. I don't take life too seriously. I understand I have flaws and don't really try to hide them anymore. I'm a little bit closer to growing up and realising what I want to do. I'm not sure if The Texan is right for me - I suspect he realises this and just chooses to ignore it. I'm not doing much about it because we do enjoy each other and life is good. Every other time I've choosen passion as the reason to be with someone it's had tragic consequences. I always feel like I'm on the verge of SOMETHING.

I'll tag another time - I need to go make tea. I may or may not leave this post up. Parts of that life still make me cry. Some of it makes me smile - other bits have me rolling my eyes :) There is so much missing - it's as if the above paragraphs are the high top ridges with all the unseen cracks and valleys in between the real underbelly of so much more.