25 days...

That little plane trip will be here before we know it!

Meanwhile I am wrangling celebs and kids on the show I'm working on - just 35 more eps to film (we shoot up to 5 on a recording day). I still have about 3 celebs to find and really wish girls with any kind of brains about their futures wouldn't sell out to Ralph or FHM so quickly because I can't hire them if they do!! blah.. We've had some interesting guests - mostly great.. except maybe the actor that turned up as if he had just walked out of nightclub in the valley about 20mins before his 7am call time - and trust me the kids noticed! Or the singer that just couldn't get a grip on how to actually play the game - despite it being designed for 11yr olds! We had a big burly footy type player that I was actually a bit nervous about how he would be - and he was great! Really got into it and completely stepped out of his comfort zone. A couple of hotties - just for the make up girls pleasure :)

It all ends in 3 weeks and then I'll be on my way to winning my fortune!

Before then I have a new lifestyle I want to get myself into and I'm Day 2 into trying... I'm slowly putting on the weight I lost and I won't have it - nor can I afford it as I've sold all my fat clothes! So I won't get any worse - only better! Part of that getting business is to really look at my drinking. I know I mention it often - joke about it - make promises to cut back. The thing is I'm highly aware that I have a bit of a problem on my hands and it's time to sort it out. I gave up smoking, cold turkey 5 years ago and never looked back. I don't want to give up the fine taste of wine all together, however I have to address the issue. I was going to start another blog dedicated to being honest about this struggle - but I figured I'd just keep it here as it is related to every other part of my life on these pages.

A number of things have led me to this point.. I noticed I was starting to get excited about the idea of being home alone to have a couple of glasses of wine - therefore not feeling so bad when the Italian would question why I was having another glass. I often find myself driving home from work thinking I won't pick any wine up and 'be good' - only to then talk myself into 'relaxing' that evening. It's all habitual.. I can be home all day and not even think about drinking - but as soon as I'm getting dinner ready and about to sit down to a favourite show or movie then that automatically comes with the 'need' to pour a glass. If it was just one or two then maybe that's ok - but often it isn't. I function perfectly well and no-one (who hasn't lived with me) really knows. The Italian gave me an ultimatum the other night that at the time made me furious, citing issues with being told what to do etc.. But he had a point and I didn't have another drink. I don't want to sabotage a relationship that is going exceptionally well because of this whole issue. I need to prove to myself and him that I can refrain. I also don't need to waste anymore $$$$$ or wake up feeling less then fab. I really want to stop beating myself up the next day for 'fucking up again'. I really want to give my body the chance to maybe shed the last 5 kilos and a great start is to not ingest the 500 plus extra very empty calories a day!

So that's it in a nutshell. Last night I fucked up. Tonight I took myself off to an hour and a half intense yoga session and now having a weight watchers hot choccy before - hopefully - going to sleep... Sleeping is the hardest part about not drinking for me..and the weird dreams I get when I eventually nod off. Part of blogging weight loss is to be accountable.. so here goes with drinking.. wish me luck..